Astral Loops (A Short Story)
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It was somehow both inside and outside — dark, with light in the distance.
The ocean (was it an ocean?) stretched out past the opening of the cavernous room, into the open space beyond.
I stood there, black water up to my knees. The waves rolled against me as I waded towards the light.
Around me were old friends. People I knew from high school and college. It was some sort of party. Even amidst the celebrations, hugging, and singing, I couldn’t help myself.
I sloshed through the dark, salty water. With each step, there were less and less people around. Soon, I was alone. The light swallowed me.
~
Same party, different weekend.
Well, the place was different too.
I was in the middle of a group of girls. I think I just met them. Anyway, we were heading towards a cool restaurant. Or maybe it was a dining hall. I don’t know, nor did I care.
It was high noon. The pathway we walked on was golden, with beautiful gardens on each side. Pretty cool campus if you ask me.
One of them turned and said something to me. I said something back. I don’t remember any of the words. Man, I drank too much back then.
We crossed the street, moving toward the line to get into the — yeah, it’s a dining hall. As we reached the line, the girls around me disappeared. Did they just walk away? I dunno. The line was gone too.
I shrugged and walked inside.
Although I was alone now, I knew my friends were around somewhere. I waved at a cook behind the counter. “What’s up, man?” I said as I walked up three stairs into the adjoining room.
I could post up here for a while until my friends are ready.
Soon enough, there they were. The party started.
It was a blur of people and commotion.
As it calmed down, it was just my friend Charles and I. We gave a cheers, clinked glasses and laughed together.
Then the room got quiet. Eerily quiet. I looked around, sensing danger.
Charles pointed to the doorway. “That’s him! He’s always trying to start fights.”
The guy he pointed to flashed an evil grin. He wanted more than a fight. He wanted blood. And we knew it.
Charles and I took off running. We leapt out of the door and jolted to the right, and sprinted down the street.
At the end of the block, I said, “Okay, we gotta separate here. Your house is that way. Mine is this way.” We nodded to each other, then went our separate ways.
I ran past a fraternity, all walking in a line. Some tried to get confrontational with me, others greeted me with waves. I kept running.
Once I passed them, I ended up… With that same group of girls again.
“Wait, is this deja vu?”
Was I in some kind of time loop?
~
I woke up.
Or at least I think I did.
My mind swirled with all of the situations.
“Was it… Yeah I’m pretty sure.”
“Why am I 20(ish) years old in most of my dreams?”
Weird. There was something to it though. So I got out of bed, sat in a chair and meditated. In my meditation, the puzzle pieces popped together.
I remembered what I’ve been trying to figure out. The past couple nights, before going to sleep, I asked God, Source — THE Higher Power — to give me guidance on how to evolve. I was ready for my next level in life.
Sure enough, these were my signs. The dreams. There was a reason why I’m around 20 in most of my dreams. I was lost then, partying too much, anxious, desperate for validation, trying to be cool, etc. It was the lowest point of my life. My dark night of the soul.
I did some things I’m not proud of. I opened up doors, on a metaphysical level, that I probably never closed.
Astral loops.
That’s the term that came to me. It sums it up. Whatever “astral loops” were, I definitely created them during that phase of my life.
And what do some people say dreams are? Visits to the astral realm. Hmm…
I thought I left that version of me behind. I mean, I felt like I’ve lived 10 lifetimes since then, but, for some reason, there was some sneaky baggage that still held me back.
I need to clear this. I refuse to let these astral loops keep me stuck. My life isn’t governed by the burdens of my past. That’s the old me, and I choose to let go completely.
~
The map was interactive.
I stared at it, slid my finger, then — whoa — I was flying over the East Coast, looking northward.
South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, etc. I saw it all in front of me.
An intuitive signal flashed through my mind.
Maine. An island off the coast of Maine. That’s where I was headed. Why? I’m still not sure.
I slid my finger and zoomed in further North, honing in on the coast of Maine.
There was no plane. No craft at all. I was just flying.
Once more, I slid my finger and saw my target.
It was an island (more like a giant rock) with ocean waves crashing against it.
My feet touched the ground, and somehow, I made the most natural transition into a walk. With the sure-footedness of some kind of ancient coastal fisherman, I strode at the water’s edge.
After just a few steps, I saw my brother. He was waist deep in the surging water, back against the precarious rocks, hands gripping for dear life.
“A shark!” he yelled. “It’s got my leg.”
I leapt next to him, solidified my footing, then felt under the water with my hands. Yup, it was a shark alright, latched onto his leg. My hands found the shark’s eyes. Note taken.
As a wave receded, almost revealing the creature, I jumped and stomped down on its eyes. Then I stomped down again, and again, and again.
~
“Well, that was different,” I thought to myself as I felt my bed. I wasn’t 20. No parties with everyone from high school and college. Good.
My brother would be alright. I knew it.
There was no fear for me in that dream. I landed right on the edge of a rocky coast, inches away from rough water, like some kind of superhero. I walked the rocks like a man who had done it for lifetimes. And I knew exactly what to do when my brother yelled for help.
I stomped out a shark, no hesitation.
My eyes opened a little, revealing a dark room.
My mind cycled through the themes. Flying, zooming in and out, landing, rocky coast, rough water, a shark biting my brother, fearlessness, courage.
Yes, this is what I asked for. Surprising, yes, but revelatory.
I was in a new mode of being, a new level of life.
The flying was my sense of empowerment.
The map, where I could zoom in and out, was my perspective on life.
The way I landed and walked along the rocky coast — that was my adeptness.
How I saved my brother from a shark: bravery, confidence and being of service to others.
I journeyed into the tempest of ancestral emotions and faced a beast that haunted my subconscious mind, and my brother’s, and my whole family’s, and maybe all of humanity’s too.
The ocean not only represents, but on some level IS, the realm of astral emotions. And a shark is the core fear in that mysterious, powerful and dangerous world.
I jumped on it. Not with the intention to harm, but with the intention to save.
As I looked at the ceiling, a hazy white in the midnight darkness, I felt significance. In fact, I felt significant.
I reclaimed my Divine Masculine power and entered a new phase in life. A new level of being.
Where I freed myself to fly to any “states” of being.
Where I could walk even the most dangerous coasts — where the physical and metaphysical converge — with confidence.
Where I wasn’t afraid of the surging, undulating power of the astral ocean.
A new beginning. A new me.