Confidence Isn't What You Think
Quick announcement: Tomorrow I’m hosting a live masterclass on the inner game of writing a book. Learn more and register here.
We tend to think of confidence as something we add on.
It’s a thing we boost ourselves with (so we think).
Even how we build confidence is based on this “add-on” paradigm.
Stack enough wins to be confident.
Do enough things to be confident.
Accumulate enough skills.
Tell yourself enough positive affirmations.
From what I’ve seen (and experienced) in my 35 years of living, this doesn’t work.
That’s why I’m going to introduce you to a completely different way of looking at confidence.
What I call soul confidence.
WTF is Soul Confidence?
Soul confidence isn’t based on accumulation.
It’s not an add-on to yourself.
Soul confidence is innate. You always have it. But it’s only revealed in the absence of fears, doubts, judgments and other forms of self-sabotage.
You don’t become confident by adding things, but by letting go of what’s in the way.
Ego Confidence vs Soul Confidence
To get a clearer picture, we need to differentiate between ego confidence and soul confidence.
Ego confidence is based on comparison and pride.
“I’m better than them.”
“I’m better than I used to be.”
“I’m more skilled than that person.”
“Look at all I’ve accomplished.”
Soul confidence is based on accepting your uniqueness.
It’s not out of pride, but of deep love.
It’s the soul essence that shines through, like the sun, when you clear away all the clouds.
Soul Confidence is Invisible
When someone is truly confident, it’s subtle, silent, almost unnoticeable.
Why? Because soul confidence is an invisible steward of other things.
When someone is truly confident, other people will notice things like:
She’s so helpful
He really cares
Their art is captivating
Their writing is mind-blowing
He inspires me so much
Soul confidence is the silent messenger of those kinds of positive qualities.
The Missing Success Ingredient
All of the other points lead up to this.
It’s about success.
People say that CONSISTENCY is the key to success.
The consensus seems to be this… “If you do something every day, success is inevitable.”
While it’s true that consistency is necessary, it’s not enough on it’s own. This is especially true if what you’re pursuing involves other people.
Think about it:
You can post on social media every day, but if your content isn’t good or interesting, you won’t grow.
You can ask someone out every day, but if you’re a terrible person, they’ll never say yes to you.
Let’s circle in on our target now.
You can try to sell something every day, but if you’re not confident about it, no one’s going to buy.
I’ve heard Ed Mylett say something along the lines of this. “People don’t need to believe you. They just need to believe that YOU believe you.” And that’s what convinces people to work with you or buy from you.
Now sometimes ego confidence works. But it doesn’t create holistic success, and it doesn’t last.
That’s because you put up a confident facade that fools others to be influenced by you.
Now think about soul confidence.
Someone without self-sabotaging patterns is going to shine. If they’re selling something, they believe in it 100%, speak from the heart, engage people and inspire them to buy. They create contagious positive energy that other people want to get behind.
So combine that shining soul confidence with consistency, and success is inevitable (holistic, lasting success).
Consistency and confidence create a feedback loop that builds skills, momentum and interpersonal magnetism that leads to success.
Clear What’s In The Way
Let’s summarize here, because these concepts are game-changers:
True confidence isn’t based on accumulation, but letting go.
When you let go of fears, doubts and self-sabotage, your innate soul confidence shines through.
Soul confidence is based on accepting your uniqueness.
Soul confidence is invisible. It’s a silent steward for other things.
Soul confidence is the missing ingredient to true success.
Now what’s in the way of all this?
SELF-SABOTAGE.
When you learn to spot your self-sabotaging patterns, you create the space for your soul confidence to shine through.
That’s why tomorrow, I’m hosting a LIVE MASTERCLASS all about the inner game of writing a book.
It will help you address all of the sneaky beliefs, fears and doubts that make people procrastinate and self-sabotage.
I’ve realized that people’s biggest block to writing a book isn’t lack of information, but their own fears and limiting beliefs.
The inner game of book writing will not only help you finish your book, but upgrade the quality of your writing as well.
Register by clicking the image below (it’s free).
Much love,
Stephen Parato
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