Most Stories Aren't Stories
Most stories aren’t clearcut, “once upon a time" stories.
They don’t have a definitive beginning or ending, and the plot is ambiguous.
Most stories are what I call indirect stories.
Indirect Stories
Indirect stories are the narratives we create in our minds based on our beliefs and experiences.
For example, you probably have stories around:
Your favorite brands
Your favorite music
Your parents and your childhood
Your skills and abilities
Right?
These aren’t neatly packaged stories with a clear beginning and end.
They’re complexes of interconnected narratives.
Let’s use your favorite brand as an example. Your story with your favorite brand consists of:
How you first discovered it
How it makes you feel
Experiences and interactions you’ve had with it
Hopes and goals you have with the brand
Ways you feel the brand helps you
The brand’s marketing
The brand’s story that they tell
All of this swirls together to create an informal, indirect story in your mind.
Like with all stories, there’s a narrative, characters, themes, challenges, etc.
It’s just that these indirect stories are messier.
Even though there’s less clarity than a “direct story” (a novel, movie, etc), the messiness comes with some opportunities.
What’s the Opportunity?
The opportunity with indirect stories is that you have a lot of room and raw material to work with and sculpt however you wish.
Once you become conscious of these indirect stories in your life, you can be more intentional with the stories you create.
Let’s look at another example: Someone who thinks they’re not a good writer.
Most likely, someone who thinks they’re not a good writer hasn’t put much thought into their stories/narratives around their writing ability. They use the, “I’m not a good writer,” belief as a one sentence story that blocks them from being aware of the deeper story.
Maybe they love reading certain types of books. Maybe they wrote a cool story when they were a kid. Maybe they wrote poetry as a teenager. Maybe they’re a good speaker. Any of these can become raw material to uncover and sculpt a more helpful story.
Here’s how an examination of this story might play out:
“I say I’m not a good writer, but I haven’t ever written regularly. That’s like saying I’m not fit, even though I only go to the gym twice a year.”
“You know what, I used to write poetry as a teenager. There’s something there.”
“What is ‘good writing’ anyway? School made us all believe it was all about perfect grammar and using big words. That’s not necessarily true.”
“I am a decent writer. And I can get better every day if I write regularly.”
See how bringing awareness to the beliefs/narratives creates opportunities to upgrade the story and lead into a more positive trajectory for this person?
That’s the power of indirect stories.
After all, the human experience is a grand tapestry of interwoven stories.
I’ll leave you with two questions to contemplate or journal about:
What’s a problem you want to solve in your life? What are your stories around it?
What’s the most meaningful goal to you right now? What are your stories around it?
Be intentional with the stories you tell, and you’ll upgrade the story you’re LIVING.
Much love,
Stephen Parato
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