The Fear of Standing Out
If you want to…
Accomplish anything meaningful
Live a fulfilling life
Be who you came here to be
…You need to stand out.
Fitting in doesn’t cut it.
Playing it safe is the calling card of mediocrity (and regret).
Fitting in is trading the brilliance of your soul for the dullness of societal conditioning.
The fear of standing out applies to both people and brands.
And it runs deep…
So whether you’re an individual looking to reclaim more of your inherent power, or someone looking to grow a brand (or both), keep reading.
Tribes & Fitting In
In tribes, being too different could get you excluded. And if you’re kicked out of the tribe, you’re good as dead on your own.
So humans always had to find the balance of being exceptional (very competent), without being too much of an exception (too different).
But here’s the thing.
In our “modern” society, playing it too safe is riskier than standing out.
When you play it safe all the time, you get the average results of the society you’re in.
And what’s average these days? Being unhappy, stressed, overweight, living paycheck to paycheck, lacking a sense of purpose, not feeling lit up about life, etc.
This is the hypnotic lull of mediocrity.
The Hypnotic Lull of Mediocrity
“Some people die at 25 and aren't buried until 75.” — Benjamin Franklin
Coasting along, seeking comfort, and prioritizing convenience. What does this get you?
Well, I’ll tell you what it doesn’t get you:
Success (however you define it)
Alignment with your soul
Great relationships
Personal growth
Fulfillment
Happiness
Peace of mind
Purpose
Joy
All of those things come to those who have the courage to be different, to be themselves, to step out of the trance of comfortable.
Here are two questions for you to contemplate:
In what areas of life is the fear of what others think holding you back?
If you had no fear of criticism or rejection, what would you do differently?
The fear of standing out doesn’t stop at individuals. It also infects brands, which is equally as interesting.
Branding & The Fear of Standing Out
Look at all of the ads for colleges, or restaurants, or B2B software.
In every industry, 99% of brands are so similar. It’s like they’re all just copying each other.
They have the same kind of messaging, the same styles, etc.
They all run the same invisible scripts (most of which are unconscious).
Very few push the boundaries or do things that are truly unique.
Why? Because of the fear of standing out.
If you’re starting a business, and you don’t stand out, your business doesn’t survive. Simple as that.
You need “standoutability” to get people’s attention, unlock opportunities and build momentum. If not, you fade into obscurity.
It’s true for bigger companies too.
In big corporations, they have a lot of “brand momentum.” It’s easy to just “keep doing what always worked.”
Employees also know that playing it safe allows them to coast in their job, get standard pay raises, and not ruffle any feathers.
But taking risks? (*GASP*) “That might open me up to criticism. If I try something out of the ordinary, it might be an epic failure that costs me my job.”
That line of thinking is not true by the way. When it comes to most forms of experimentation, the worst case is that you get ignored (which is the same result as when you do the same boring things). And the best case is exponential success. So a strategic, experimental approach is almost all upside. The exceptions to this are when you’re hateful, violent or deceptive (but hopefully if you’re reading this, you’re not that dumb).
The Lull of Brand Mediocrity
What happens when you play it safe though? Long term, this is how a brand fades into obscurity (no matter how big or established).
When a brand gets too comfortable and coasts along, they gradually dilute what made them great in the first place and lose competitive advantages.
This is why companies lull themselves into irrelevance if they don’t evolve or shake things up every so often.
Note: For both people and brands, you’re either evolving or dying slowly. It’s a choice.
The fear of standing out will destroy any brand’s positioning strategy.
These days, people want brands to be authentic and value-driven. This can be anything from playful, to goofy, to bold and contrarian (depending on your brand’s vision, mission and core values).
Here are two questions to contemplate if you have a brand, or are part of a brand.
Why do you fear standing out?
Examples: Getting in trouble. Gaining a bad reputation. Coming across as unprofessional. 99% of these fears are unwarranted.
What would the ideal version of “standing out” be for your brand?
Remember: Irrelevance and people ignoring you is a bigger threat than 99% of “out there” marketing and branding ideas.
What it Takes to Stand Out
Living from a higher purpose (for a brand, it’s the vision, mission, and values).
Seeing the invisible scripts that most people or brands follow.
Having the courage to be different.
Value your purpose and service over fitting in.
Continuously experimenting and evolving.
Most of the time, standing out (for both people and brands) is just a combination of a clear purpose and the courage to be yourself.
Want Your Brand to Stand Out?
After working with several people and brands lately, I found myself helping them with brand positioning a lot.
What came out of this is a five step process to help brand’s position themselves to stand out in a noisy world.
So I created a free Inspired Brand Positioning Process workbook.
It will help you unlock “standoutability” in ways that are aligned with your higher purpose.
The process is based on journaling prompts to help you see things from new perspectives and have those exciting aha-moments.
Plus, it won’t feel like hard work because it’s designed to be playful and fun.
You can get it for free here: Inspired Brand Positioning Process Workbook
I trust you’ll get a lot of value out of it.
Much love,
Stephen Parato
PS (for the dudes): I’m also looking to work with one or two men in terms of these themes and how they relate to men’s work (being exceptional, confident, courageous, empowered, purposeful, etc). So if you’re a man who resonates with this, either reply via email or dm me on social media.
If you found value in this, please like and/or share this post so more people can discover it. Thank you!